|I'm back and better and blacker than ever--and so is Gabby!|
*Elton John's "I'm Still Standing" starts blaring at top volume*
I hope y'all didn't think y'all had seen the last of me. Let's not mince words, I got fucking wrecked for the last two months of that Hell Year We Shan't Speak Of. And yes, I got kicked the fuck down. I had to recuperate, pull myself together, assess the damage, wrap my wounds, sit in the safe spaces, and drink a lot of booze and cry over and over and over. But like hell I'm out of the game. Any of them. You name the game I was playing, I'm still in. Just means I gotta fight harder and blaze brighter and cast spells stronger and swing my Libra swords harder over the next several years. When you're living on your knees you rise up. 2017 is the year of Zero Fucks Given. My fucks for nonsense and garbage opinions died with Prince, Bowie, Debbie Reynolds, Carrie Fisher, George Michael, Richard Adams, and American Democracy.1 Rejected Princesses just kick more ass.
That being said, hi, y'all. Sit down and let's get this show on the road. Guess who went to AG Seattle yesterday? It's ya girl, Nethie. And while I have been quiet on the blog front--sorry--I have been on AGC and Instagram talking my doll shit and getting my things done. And when I saw the Girl of the Year leaks, I squealed and burst into the happiest of happy tears.
Because for the very first time in seventeen years and fifteen girls (seventeen if you count Gwen and Sonali) we have a black girl of the year. And yes, I brought her home yesterday. Meet Gabriela "Gabby" McBride. She's a black artist, poet, and dancer. And I've got like, three-quarters of those traits. She's me in a dolly form and I fell so in love with her I am still reeling from her utter preciousness. I'm so happy I could plotz.
Does this mean that we're successful with #AGDoCGotY? No. Yes, we got a Black Girl of the Year, and she's precious. That being said, there is lot to critique. She in many ways feels like a called out afterthought by AG as if they planned another white chick2 and then, after GMA pointed out last February that they had never had a black girl of the year on national television, they pulled #46 off the shelf and whipped up some work for her. She doesn't have a movie planned, or a large item--though if that means a trend away from $500 Stupid Bakeries I can live with it. But you know what? She's here. She's here and she's black and she's a beautiful dancing step in the right direction.
Thank you American Girl, for finally releasing a Black girl of the Year.
Now keep doing it. Represent everyone. Release more girls of color for girl of the year. Don't make the next little girl like me, who is a black writer and artist, wait til she's in her thirties to see herself represented as a modern girl. Don't let this be the only step. Let it be the first.
And for those who claim that we still aren't happy because we're always complaining and so we shouldn't get anything else, then? Go sit on a boomstick. Seriously. Get the hell out and eat some Lego. Black people in AG fandom have every right to have what we have, love that we have her, want her to succeed and still want more. I will remind you that this is only the first ever Black Girl, there has still never been a full East Asian Girl or Native Girl of the Year, and the only South Asian Girl was a companion. I want Gabby to blow the fuck up, because then maybe it'll sink into the thick heads that we want and crave and need diversity. We need the doors and the windows.
Oh and heads up? I know Felicity is coming back, books and likely new clothes and maybe even a new face. We'll talk about her when she's out. Lesbians for everyone!
This post is gonna cover Gabby My Baby, the other new stuff I saw, and the hair stuff that I forgot to do. Like I said, hell year.
Gabby, Gabby, The Black Pretty Babby
|Aren't you just a peach and a plum and a dear made of yum.|
Gabriela "Gabby" McBride is black, she is beautiful, she is what we've wanted in so many ways, and she's the first Girl of the Year since Marisol to not be at least part or mostly white.3 Yes, she's basically a redressed #46. But you know what? Gwen was a redressed #12, Grace was a Chrissa with different hair and pinker lips, and Wonderbread was an amalgam of everything AG could do wrong in a dancer, and Lea's movie cast a white girl. I wish they hadn't retired #46 to put Gabby out, but look she's pretty and Black, she's got super cute curls, and I'm happy to have her. I plan to make her a touch different from stock later, cause she's gonna get eye and cheek freckles like I have.
Do note that Gabby's box states that she's available for 2017 and beyond. This means she'll likely be the first GotY in some time to be around past the end of the year, the last one being Kailey who ran from 2003 into 2004. All the Gabby!
Meet Outfit: Oh thank fuck it's not a single one piece dress or some garbage. Lea, the ways you were a failure lemme count 'em. Gabby's showing up in a purple crop top4 with dream in silver, a teal tank top under it, denim jeggings because everything is a jegging now we can't just say denim leggings, pink panties, and purple and teal shoes with a funky groove and gray soles. Also no ego tags. The evil Wonderbread wrought upon our dolls is defeated. She also has a double headband and ten clear hair elastics.5
|Now for kids.|
Gabriela's Accessories: No good picture, because I forgot. Next time I'm at the store. Gabby's accessories include a bag with a boombox logo, a water bottle to drink the tears of her haters, energy mix that is sweet and salty and ready to kill, a pack pack of bobby pins, sticker bandaids I will never use because sticker anxiety, eight pony tail holders, and an apple that is the wrong shape for a green apple because it's shaped like a red delicious, which are by the by not delicious. I got them because discount, doiy. I will just have to find an appropriate apple. Healthy snacks or some shit.
|Earrings for a special girl.|
Book: Gabby only has her first book out right now, Gabriela. I'll read it later. I did skim it lightly and there's a chapter called Shakespeare and Sandwiches, and dude I like Shakespeare. Gabby why are you so made of wins.
|Box drama, because of course there's drama in a fandom made of nostalgia brats and literal teenagers.|
Now this is just a casual person here who has never been in marketing, but the main reason for the box change from my perspective is that Gabby--like Lea and the WellieWishers--is going to be put in stores other than the AG stores. Namely, she's gonna head to the Toys R Us AG locations that opened this fall, and are more or less gonna be a thing in the store for the foreseeable future. And while AG stores can dedicate space to displays behind glass and stockfolk that can walk around checking to make sure that people aren't cracking boxes open to swipe the items out of the boxes? Toys R Us is not gonna have that. They are not going to set up a million and five cases that will show every outfit on the doll, every accessory in a case, and they especially are not going to have boxes that can be popped open in the store and swiped from because people do that. So AG has made an effort from the start with Gabriela to have packaging that will work being stacked on shelves in Toys R Us, and that a kid can see in the store and get. They won't have to lift the lid to see Gabriela, and like any other doll they can look in and just see her and want her that way.
And in a fandom full of nostalgia brats, old white women who choke on their pearl necklaces every time someone flips off Saint Pleasant's Visions and mentions not being a straight Christian, and literal teenage girls who fear change, there's drama over the boxes. Wahhhh they're too "Barbie" like. Waaah this is ruining the brand. Wahhhh their nostalgia over burgundy boxes and what about the box preservation and the masses are runining everything about AG and a bloo bloo bloo.
Now if your complaint is about packaging plastic, that I understand in part but still glance aside at because dude, that's what it gotta be in a shelf situation. But if you're bitching that AG is going Barbie, or mainstream, or it's not right that you see AG at TRU or Costco or Kohl's? You're a classist twat and you can go sit back on that boomstick--but this time put it right up your ass, please porridge hot.6 I hope your precious fancy doll room gets wrecked in a delightfully karmic fashion and you get kicked in the groin and rolled down a hill into a swamp, right before a mix of jelly, corn syrup, and motor oil falls into your hair and ruins it for good, requiring a full body shave.
I collect AG but I'll be fucked by a bugbear before I act like someone seeing the same doll I got at the stores at the local TRU somehow ruins my precious collection. Y'all been pulling this shit forever. First it was AG opening a full website for ordering was ruining mail orders. Then AG opening store across the country was ruining the delight of ordering online. And now it's "my precious AG in the hands of the rabble that go to TRU instead of the AG stores! Now how will my Precious Skylar Snowflake Daughter know she's better than the other kids at school?" Maybe your kid needs a better parent that isn't you and won't make them put their superiority in the kind of dolls they have. 'Cause bitches, if my grandparents could have gone to a store to buy me an AG when I was a kid? I might have gotten my first one before I turned 25.
There is classism in comparing everything to Barbie, or calling it cheap and saying that anyone can get a doll now that they're available outside the stores. I swear to fuck every time someone says that AG is doing something that's making the line more Barbie-like, an angel loses its wings, falls into lava, and dies before coming back to kick you in the head. If y'all don't stop comparing everything you hate to Barbie out of some womanfight comparison misogynistic bullshit idea that Barbie somehow is the absolute worst because you never figured out that you are not a toy in the reverse of Toy Story, I am going to come to your houses and give all your fucking blonde dolls the most hacked off haircuts my fingers can fing. I'm so fucking tired of people comparing any doll they hate to Barbie or Bratz. Stop being classist. Or, failing that, go fuck yourself unpleasantly with a stick.
|DJ Gabby here for the One-Seven, who's ready to wake me up before you Go-Go?|
Gabriela's Sparkling Sequins Outfit: Gabriella only has three outfits around right now. The first is a sequin top, black capris, silver shoes, and silver knit fingerless gloves. I'm not super in love with the bare shoulders, as per my "bare shoulders what" initiative. But it's a lovely coordinating set that manages to not be aggressive sparklebarf. I'll get it when I get...
Gabriela's Performance Case: Gabriela's got some funky tunes to blast, and she's got a performance case to do it with. It's smaller than Marisol's trunk and more plastic, but then again I'm not buying a whole outfit with it so net plus.8 It comes with stickers cause I didn't have enough sticker anxiety, a laptop to pull up her fresh mixes of Prince and Bowie, microphone for shot outs to the crew, headphones to make sure her mix tape is lit, drumsticks and a drum pad. Tiny drum kit tiny drum kit ahhhhhh. Yep, gonna get it.
|Near, far, stretching at the barre--|
Gabriela's Creative Studio Set: well it's a good thing I didn't get Wonderbread's old barre thing cause this one is cuter so pbbth. Not a lot of extras--a dance barre, two-sided backdrop, a performance sign, and another bottle for the haters and their tears. I like the backdrop. And with the set not costing a pull through the nose amount, I can actually get this and not feel bad that it'll take up space that I don't got.
Gabriela's Showtime Kit: Gabby gotta get her hair and nails did. So she's got a nice case with a blush compact and makeup brush, two hairbands, some flower hairpins because flower crowns, and actual nail polish she can use on her nails and be cutes with. And a hair pick. And normally I hate on hair picks but this one looks like the one my husband uses and my dad used and I have in my house. The metal tine kind. So Gabby will put it in her hair, pump a fist, and fight the power. The revolution will not be televised.
Gabriela's Tap Shoes: They're like Marisol's but silver and not paired with an outfit that leaves much to be desired. And since she and Marisol be hanging? They're gonna be syncopated ladies.9
|time for sleep--wow that overexposed, gonna have to get a better one.|
Gabriela's Cat: AG cats remain hit or miss, and this is a miss. I like the face, but it's small and non-posable and I have my Costco Gray kitten. So I'm naming that one Maya and she now has a cat. Wow, she really is so much like Marisol that they even have the same poseable kinda cat.
So, do I want all the Gabby things? Yep, I want all the Gabby things but the cat. And can probably afford them, at least.
Truly Me: Hair Did, Nails Did, Clothes Terrible10
Before I get into the semi-new stuff that came out, I'm gonna cover the hair stuff I missed last time. Cause I did that.
|Dat backdrop. Oh and the caddy in front of it or something.|
Truly Blue Hairstyling Caddy: If I was into paying $50 for hair stuff and a storage for it, I would do it by going to Dollar Tree and buying stuff there, so I can get moar of it.
|Now with cape moved so you can see what's going on.|
|Same as before.|
|Actual non-water? Oh wait it's just braid spray.|
...does that cover all the hair stuff I missed? It does.
|Uh, okay then.|
- Tropical Print Dress
- Adventure Tank Set
- Tiered Tropical Skirt
- Sequin Skirt
- Geo-Print Shorts
- Sunshine Tank
- Pom-Pom Tee
- Fringe Vest
- Blue Sandals
- Green Gladiator Sandals
|New jams for the fams.|
Fun and Games Sleepover Set: All the things you need for these modern sleepovers where people apparently have fruit and milk instead of giant tins of cheese balls, huge cups of coke, and order in Domino's pizza. There's even a tray and another card game--I don't need tiny Uno I don't need tiny Uno i don't need tiny Uno--
|Oh look another purse in no use to me.|
|Draws for all your doll pannies needs.|
Flowers and Dots Tank and Brief Set: Second verse, same as the first. I may get them cause I like doll underpants but later. They mix and match with the other set, so if I can get them on like, a sale coupon from my rewards I'll get more pannies. Never too many doll pannies.
|Is this actual swimwear?|
Shining Star Baseball Hat: It's a hat. With a star on it. *half a shrug*
Starry Sunglasses: They are just sunglasses, they're not exciting, I didn't even realize they were here to be seen in my picture. Wear them or not.
Swim Accessories: I want just the bottle out of this set because it matches the one I drink AGIG's ugly racist tears out of. So I will have to buy it on the cheap.
*presses play again*
*raises fist as Beyoncé's Freedom starts basting where it's cued*
I break chains all by myself
Won't let my freedom rot in hell
Hey! I'ma keep running
Cause a winner don't quit on themselves
The game ain't over til I say it is. C'mon, Gabby. We got some people's asses to whoop. Grab your drumsticks and let's fight.
1 And I don't give a single fuck abut the dead ass gorilla either.
2 Yes, I know about Tenney from Nashville. No, I don't care for her. Some people do and we're fine with that but at the same time anyone who's complaining that Gabby isn't perfect and deserves to fail, and procceeds to start drooling on their boobs over another white girl? Miss me with that shit.
3 I love Kanorbles, but if I had to use the canon books to define her she'd be half white. Which is why she's not canon round here.
4 AG calls it a sweater. AG is being dumb.
5 Funny thing. So I got my Gabby Bo Baby's ears pierced and her headband fell out of the box. First day glitches amirite? I'm getting one sent to me cause AG Seattle is on their game.
6 That all got retired, by the by; some bits are still available online, but for the most part they gone.
7 I know it's "pease porridge hot." I'm making a point.
8 Guess who just made best friends with Marisol. Never mind the tennish year age difference. They're both near the same age in doll formz.
9 I love their tapping. Okay ladies, let's get in formation.
10 Some pics I took yesterday, some the other day, some before that.