|Nanea! Gabby! Z YANG! FELICITY! oh and those two no one here loves they can eat paint.|
Anyways. There is a lot of hot buzz in AG that's been going around for months. And since I just hate doing back to back store visit/New Shit/Release talks, I'm getting off my ass and making a post before I take my ass to AG and use that AG Rewards coupon to get some of the new hotness on the Discount and talk about that. And take review pics. God I owe reviews on everything. I am the second worst.
Also if I get all my angryfeels out now about things in the AG News, I can spend tomorrow snapping pictures and just posting middle finger emojis every time I have to talk about Nogan the Face Stealing Bastard up there. GUESS WHAT I THINK ABOUT HIM. Go on and fucking guess. Have a WILD guess.
Ahem. Get under my cut and put lotion on me,2 we're going in.
PantyGate 2017: Fused on Pantsu
|Hay I heard you like panties, so I put some panties over your panties.|
Official statements include that the modification was made "for a variety of reasons, including consumer research that's shown that having the underwear fixed to the body will make play easier for some and will ensure the underwear is less likely to be lost or need to be replaced." Also claims that this will stop them from hiking the prices up more.
Oh, how the fandom crapped itself, especially after someone picked up a doll and then proclaimed her to be of squishy cheap vinyl and showed a poorly designed butt shape3 and posted pics to the effect thereof--and AG, in a of "lol what even are the social medias," called said person a liar and posted a back ass image of the new permanent panties. They also blocked several people from commenting on their page, which really raised up the dander in the fandom. (Meanwhile I was lolling at the people freaking out about Facebook bans. I got blocked from Grace release until almost the end of Lea for complaining openly that they didn't have a DoC and they needed to do better. I was clean and articulate like Barack H. Obama. But I still got blocked and couldn't even LIKE the page, and they tried to claim the error was on my end until I said that this was impacting my purchase desires. Blocking ain't new, I don't really give a fuck that people are getting blocked for acting out about doll panties. You will be banned on a whim. Just use the Facebook for AG confirmation of news.)
On the butt misshape and squishy vinyl, I'm just gonna steal Boom's text on the topic she posted on AGC because she's cool like that:
Nah. It is a good question but I guess it's really "it depends on the doll."As for the permapanties actually being a thing? I fretted for several days, but I'm sorta over it. They will not be a make or break or deal on any dolls I want to buy in the future--I'll just go around inspecting booties to make sure they fit. And I already have DeeDee and Ellie in free panties and I'm not gonna get Julie. So whatever. I don't actually believe AG did this to save five bucks on doll draws because I used to work for a company that said a million things like that and I know marketing/PR replies when I see them. But whatever reasons they have they aren't telling us and I'm not gonna dig. If I buy a doll whose permapanties are just too much for me, I will either swap a body or fabric paint/dye them. Or just pull some new draws over them. My gang doesn't go around changing out their underwear as often as I do, they don't have vagoobers and a need for pantyliners.
Someone (was it here? Or was it on IG?) brought up too that since these doll components are poured in molds, a squishier doll may just mean that for whatever reason, less liquid vinyl got poured into that section of the mold. Machinery is fallible and mistakes happen. As parts are rolling down the assembly line/belt for checking, I suppose the folks in factory are taught to look for thin vinyl, in the case of "if you can see light through it, pull it and chuck it" kinda like looking for wonky looking Hershey Kisses as they roll down the line/belt.
I probably come off as an AG apologist here, but... eh. I'm not. I do feel that the tail-butt should have been noticed somewhere along the lines as the parts move down the assembly line. It should have been pulled, whether that's while just the torso was rolling by, or even as a completed doll was rolling by and then tossed into the "make this 'fall into your bag' and go sell it on Taobao" pile. And I do think AG should just own that fuckup and let the girl exchange her doll. Which, I'm sure she's already done.
But, I think this girl very willingly only showed what she wanted folks to see and got what she wanted. I don't want to say out-and-out lying, but lying by omission maybe, enough to get people to start banging the drums of righteous indignation? Herd mentality. First couple of days of this all we saw were still pictures. While they told part of the story, there was no way to show how hard she was pressing on that head or arm. Not until we saw the video. And the video kind of ruined her story, because I saw her knuckles turn white. Your knuckles don't turn white unless you are really clenching them. And she never did show herself squeezing the legs, either in still shots or in the video. One would assume that the legs were fine then, yes?
agupdatenews just posted a picture someone took of their new TM doll with permapanties. Looks a lot better. I do believe at this point that the tail-butt can be chalked up to factory error.
And the people complaining that they now can't have their dolls sit on toilets or run around naked--you do you boo. I mean, was toilet play a thing? I can't help you. I got over toilet dolls when I was like seven after my little sister was born and I got bored of changing diapers. Is that the new hotness? I'm too old. And my gang is almost never naked unless their name is Kaya, and that's just to show off her pajamas and underwear.
In conclusion, they don't bother me but if they bother you, work around it. Maybe they'll be like New Coke and only be around for a short while before they go away.
Felicity: Out of the Vault and Into BeForever
|She's back in black! Uh, Blue. She's back!|
But she's only online and at the main flagship stores: NYC, Chicago, and LA. Which means that my ass will not be getting her new shit for a while. I have to pay taxes on every AG thing I get now, if I have to pay shipping too you had better give me a fresh discount or four.
She's not got much of anything either: her new clothes, accessories, underwear set, and books, and that's it. Which I have to get all of again, except I'm not feeling the underwear set. My girl already has a buttroll, shift, and stays. I will be getting her new outfit, mind, and reviewing it then, and talking about it when I can photograph it. I love it. Just ain't getting it yet. Not until I either get some free shipping or take my ass to AG Chicago again. Felicity already has a slamming wardrobe, she can wait a while. Then Elizabeth can call her girlfriend pretty.
Your move, AG. The money is sitting right here for you to take. At least until...
Nanea Mitchell: SHUT THE FUCK UP, TAKE MY MONEY, AND HOLD MY FEELS
|holy fuck i'm in love with a girl name Nanea~|
But that is what flipping happened. And I am so happy it did.
Nanea Mitchell is Hawaiian, she is from 1941, she has a new face mold and wavy hair and shorts and hazel eyes because yep, they definitely over ordered those.
I still think AG should offer a Not!Kanoodles, but as for me and mine? NANEA NANEA NANEA BRING HER TO ME I WANT HER I WANT HER SO BAD.
She comes out in August, which gives us half a year--barring us all dying in world war--to get hype and get ready and post all the leaks that are fit to peek at. So yep, that's what the Donation button is for now. The Let's Say Aloha to Nanea Fund. Help Neth bring her home at release!
Suzie "Z" Yang: When Youtube Personalities Become Dolls (And They're Totes Adorbz)
|Suzie "Z" Yang. From Youtube to You!|
I wasn't sure if I was going to have her in my gang or not, but well, Suzie is one of the cutest names around. My first Baby Face doll that I still have is named Suzie. And she's really cute. Like really.
She'll be around a while. I can get Nanea first. Even if she's coming out in April, I can wait. But oh will the wait be hard to handle. She's going to be part of the contemporary character line, which is basically named moddies without that only here for a year threshold.
Alas, she's not the only one who's due out. Or the first.
Because we can't have nice things.
Tenney Grant and Logan Everett: Oh Lord How The Fuckery Abounds5
|Face stealing spotlight grabbing guitar playing FUCKERY.|
And my feelings on both of them can be summed up as Go Suck A Fuck and Eat Lego Bricks.6
First of all, first of all, I'm 87% sure that Tenney was supposed to be the Girl of the Year, but if the rumor is true that AG is going to stop doing that then Gabby is going to close out the line so they don't get dragged out for never having a black girl before they close it7 and they switched away from Tenney at the last minute. I mean she's got the fancy pantsy stage and the fancy pansty books and the fancy pantsy movie that'll come out later.
Also she has special fingers to hold her pick and play her guitar. *sarcastic jazz hands* But other than that she's a #24 with a twang and an accent. And a brown best friend named Jaya because AG stop sticking PoC as sidekicks to your whitebread girls. FUCK. Her books came out already, and can basically be summed up as "when Disney Movies and Unrealistic Expectations on Music Showbusiness attack." She's like if all the tweeniebops on AGIG got together and collectively suggested a doll based on Taylor Swift and whoever Twenty-One Pilots are and she's boring as shit. I expect to see a lot of ugly poses of her in bad country clothes whenever I accidentally click on the AGIG tag.
Oh, but we don't just have to deal with Tenney-Sue, the Vanilla Moon Pie up there. No, if it was just her I'd seethe loudly. But the fail is super high. AG shot for the moon and fucking hit it today.
Because not only do we have her, we have Logan Everett. American Girl's first ever Boy doll who plays drums with Tenney.. And I don't like him one fucking bit and fuck him forever.
The short rant? Logan--hereby refered to as Nogan or Nogan the Face Stealer--is a piece of spotlight-stealing, appropriative walking, stinky cisboy bullshit.
The long one uses bullet points because I'm just that mad.
- They used the Kaya Mold for his face. That's right, the face mold that was only used before for Kaya--who I remind you is the ONLY NATIVE CHARACTER THEY HAVE EVER NAMED and whose face mold was designed because it’s a cultural taboo for Nimipuu people to bare teeth in smiles (it are a sign of aggression)? Is now on a white boy. And the implications that a Native face is “masculine” enough to slap on a cis white boy is some fuck shit that I will not put up with.
- So you mean to tell me that AG can’t even get off their ass to tell good stories for PoC or have more than one to two black girls in the historical line at the same time, but we can put in this generic as fuck white boy that plays the drums and gets his own special hand he shares with Tenney-Swift Sue? Get the fuck out. I don’t see one bit why AG wants to get hard in the paint to fawn over representing white boys when girls of color still fight to get some views everywhere they go.
- also I like how we can apparently go around making cisboys, but the Best Friends line got shut down because that failed.
- why he look like every white boy that tried to hit on me by saying he'd never been with a black girl before enough I tweeted about it that is all
- Gabriela McBride, the first ever black Girl of the Year, the first ever named black character that wasn't a historical, just came out last month. But now she’s being made to share the spotlight with Ten-tay and Nogan. They couldn’t even be assed to make a movie for Gabby, they couldn’t be assed to make her properly unique, they couldn't be assed to even tweak her a bit with some freckles or something8--but they’re pulling all the dirty stops out for TenneySue and the Boy In The Band? Fuck you. Like I said I am pretty sure that Tenney-Sue was supposed to be the LE but then there was last minute scrambling and they half assed Gabby because lol what even the fuck are black people.
- yeah launching this fucking whiteboy during black history month we see you AG fuck you
- I don’t think boys matter more than girls who have a million stories yet untold and they never will
- The media reports on this are hot mess. They all basically boil down to the following: "OMG AMERICAN GIRL IS RELEASING A BOY DOLL FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. His name is Logan and he plays the drums and he’s going to be part of this other character’s collection who we're going to play it like he's the focus, and oh my god so many people asked for boys and AG FINALLY LISTENED! *mumbles* oh and there’s a black one that came out in january named gabriela, and an asian one named z later, and a historical named *looks at ink smeared on hand* Naenuu but that's not what we wanna talk about ANYWAYS HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY? everyone get on that shit.” And fuck me running on a treadmill if I didn’t expect exactly this to goddamn happen. Nogan’s stealing all the spotlight. Like, I don’t expect King 5 News in Seattle to report on how he is a facestealing bastard, the nuance and significance of AG facemolds is likely lost on the basic media outlets and the articles were written using a mix of a press release and some 28 year old unpaid intern's memory of AG back when she was in third grade and Samantha was how she learned feminism. But these articles are doing what too many boys in girls spaces and girl places have done for time immemorial, what boys way too often do when they come into girl spaces. He has stolen the focus away from all the girls–especially the girls of color–and everyone is serving him all the attention left and right. Look adoringly to the almightly penis-bearing boychild, and if we have time in our blurb we’ll talk about the black girl in a footnote.
- oh my fucking gods the white tweensqueal fandom on Instagram has pissed me off so much over Nogan. They stay riding the ass when it comes to beeping and squealing any time someone learns there's a boy anywhere on earth who collects AG things. Because oh muh guh, how brave and bold is he? Such representation. Much diversity. Very inclusive. wow. Meanwhile my black ass is likely on a hundred different people’s block lists for going off on the fact that they collectively jump over every black girl in a row to add another Mayo Becky to their untoasted whitebread collections, can't figure out why it's not cool to put the DoC clothes on their white dolls, dither over unfollowing a fundie bigot who says women should be subservient to men because she takes such purty pictures guyz, and ignore racial slurs for the Roma on their iron on Faux-hemian crop top shirts they're wearing with yet another pair of denim high wasited shorts in a field they walked out to.
- I can't even with the fact that someone actually recorded themselves and posted on IG saying that my feminism was bullshit because I don't include boys in it and [mocking tone] "if your feminism isn't inclusive it's bullshit". Feminism does help take down patriarchal attitudes, yes. But if you think for five seconds you can tell my black queer disabled ass that I'm not feminist enough for you because I don't give a fuck about a white boy doll? You can catch these hands. Best keep your name out my mouth and Boom's too. Them hexes ain't just for the fools telling me my anti-racism is wrong. Feminism is not about including boys in the sequel and if your feminism expects me to focus on some fuckboys, if you won't respect my existence as a queer woman of color and you step on me to fawn over some white boy? Then you can expect my fucking resistance. We are no longer friends don't talk to me.
- bitch this isn't baby sitters club is his girlfriend named mary-anne spier is she going to get a significant haircut
- I am not here for this shit ass "equalism" garbage that people keep trotting out that tells me that I’m supposed to just be okay when white boys get the focus. Fuck the idea that white men and boys are the universal and everyone else is the other. Boys and men get everything. EVERYTHING. Boys get superheroes, movies, books, tv shows, talk show hosting. the GODDAMN UNDESERVED PRESIDENCY AND MOST OF THE POSITIONS OF POWER. But I’m supposed to be over here shitting my fused on permapanties that AG finally delivered a cis boy? Getdafuckout.
- People are talking about how this will suddenly help boys play with dolls? WTF. There are not going to be an army of parents seeing Nogan the Face-Stealer in a catalogue or in the store and going “you know I was gonna get my son, Heath Garrett SonChild, a Tonka Truck and Baby’s First Beer Brewing Kit. But now that they’ve released this boy it’s AG dolls for all!" Did daddies start buying Ken dolls for boys when he came out in the 60s? Were they like "yep, it’s a fashion doll for my son, down with toxic masculinity?" Hell no. Girls just got a boy to dress up, and that's what is mostly gonna happen with Nogan. There’s going to be very, very few little boys walking around with Logan. What you’re going to see is a bunch of bokeh fucking, all dolls matter, ~ugug~ emoji sparlkle tweeny-kids under the age of 16 buying Logan and posting him with their common ass white girls girls in hetnorm BS in a goddamn backyard somewhere for Instagram likes and comments of "slay" and "goals" and heart eyes emojis. Nogan is basically Ken, AG style.
- I’m sick and fucking tired of all this whining about boys needing representation in girl spaces, because otherwise they won’t play with us girls, and if we can't get their attention then something is wrong. It’s the same shit that says that black positive companies/books/movies/shows are excluding the poor underrepresented whites. Fuck that shit, we’re making shit FOR US and NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE BOUT Y'ALL.
- oh my god okay on the real at one point, PNG post fallout--yes, the same PNG who stabbed me in the back--made a photoshopped white blonde Kaya molded doll image because "hurr hurr, I don't show my teeth so the Kaya mold looks most like me" in a fucking attempt to try and BAIT ME--and possibly Colette--into calling her on her shit. And if I ever so vaguely recall, that was when several someone elses was like "okay, we all see what you're doing, go eat several middle fingers." And now seeing this I'm like "Did they fucking hire her or some shit?"
- Fuck boys and I don't mean that carnally. Seriously I don't care that they copyrighted shit, boys stink, I might be married to a man but I keep 95% of my doll collecting and all my AG collecting a hot clambake. I got into this line for the story of girls and the history of girls because history more often than not only fucking talks about men and menshit. And now we got this. No boys in my treehouse.
This Is Just To Say: I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox, and which you were probably saving for breakfast. Forgive me, they were delicious. So sweet. And so cold. And they probably belonged to Tenney-Sue so they were super good.9
The two of them can go eat bricks and pound sand. *double fisted flip off*
Conclusions, along with Other Shit That is Short So isn't Getting Its Own Topic:
- Gabby will be getting a loft bed and chair, and another nice outfit. I will be all over that as soon as humanly possible.
- It looks like Addy might be on the way out, but there's no official time/announcement of that. I will have to def get one for my mom the day they say she's leaving. I have made my peace with her departure.
- Ohana means family and family means no face stealing white boys.
- Kaya has a GIRL'S FACE.
- Seriously it's like they grabbed the boy babysitter from the BSC and moved him to another state, does he speak in dialect and whine that it's so hard to be one of the alternate officers
- *saves the change in her jar for Nanea*
- *saves some other change for Z*
- Felicity can come too.
- More Gabby Less Suck
And every time I see Tenney-Sue (aka Grand Ole Nopry) and Nogan (AKA Ken-ney the Boy Toy) I will curse their names and my rants will be non ceasing.
1 Yes an actual spinning wheel, it's an Ashford Joy 1 and I was gifted it by DetectiveKraken who remains made of awesome and win. It double treadles and I'm pretty good at working it.
2 Shimmy Shimmy Cocoa Pop~ Yes I've been listening to 90s music to write. And that line up there makes me roll and has since I was a teenaged Neth.
3 I have a lot to talk about, pic space is at a premium. Accept your links.
4 Hipster Felicity played around with archival before it was cool, and is also the only character to have three meet outfits over the course of her existence. Not bad for a shopkeeper's daughter!
5 No they don't get their own separate topics they can go to doll hell.
6 Or if they want to remain in brand, they can eat MegaConstrux.
7 In which case the AGDoCGotY Tag will just change to AGDoCContemporary and I'll keep bitching cause I'm good at that.
8 I gave my Gabbi some freckles. Bitches love freckles.
9 I was an English Major. I like poems.