Rambled Opinions and General Snarkiness: The 35th Anniversary Party, Flashback Fri-Year, Stuff Down Under, and Whatever Else Has Came Out Recently

Party down if you ain't no clown. Also don't invite clowns.

Go, AG
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's your birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a fuck it's not your birthday--

But it is their birthday! At least, it was. Is? How does a year long celebration work vis a vis a birthday? I merely give myself a month, and that's more to allow gifts to arrive anytime in the span around with the actual celebration generally a few days before or after the moment of Actual Birthday. I even redid the layout of the AG Wiki to celebrate--and because hey, it should have a nicer background after this long. Fresh coat of digital paint and what not.

Congrats, American Girl. You were born in a warehouse north of Madison, Wisconsin--one of the two places in the state that has any concentration of black people, go argue with your unseasoned cast iron pan, I was born there--as the brainchild of a former teacher who gets over-revered. You started with just three modified Gotz dolls with the Romina Mold, covering three overly romanticized historical time periods and accompanying books, and outfits and accessories that fit a single two-page spread in the Doll Reader magazines that my mom's crafty and very wonderful friend used to let me flip through because I was a quiet well-behaved kid who didn't tear things up and I loved the blue trunk with the flowers on it and the doll that had the collection for it.

And now, past the invention of the CD, DVD, Internet, streaming and me being Entirely Grown, you as a company are still kicking it. In part because the last twenty-plus of your life have been Mattel run. No one tell the PC Purists, you'll break their hearts and send them into apoplexy when you remind them that Kit never was a PC doll no matter what the back of her head mold might say. Go argue with Samantha's shitty plastic shoes.

This is an achievement, and that's me being sincere. Not every line of toys makes it this long, or every line of dolls. Yes, Barbie's the same decade as my parents, and I'm older than Ponies--another line that still lasts--and I am Classically Trained in that an NES was my first system. There's things that last. But not every brand of toy thing lasts so long. Just a few doll and toy lines born the same year as AG that didn't make it out of the 1980s, courtesy of Ghost of the Doll:

• Jem, truly outrageous and over by 1988¹
• Fluppy Dogs, which didn't make it to 1987
• Shimmers, also didn't make it to 1987 
• Sweetie Pops, weird little dolls that only did a year
• Fairy Tails, birds with happy endings by 1988
• and MoonDreamers, which had images in 1988 Hasbro catalogs but never went into production.
  

Every few years toys and brands are born, live a little and die, burst onto the scene in a surge of popularity and fizzle out a few short years later to scatter thrift stores and wistfully look forward to the day they show up on Buzzfeed lists of Only Decade Kids Remember. Even the Baby Face dolls I like only made it two years, and I didn't know about Year Two until I was older. So congrats, AG, for making it three and a half decades, and thanks for making my life a lot more brilliant. Can't wait to see you make it to four decades and beyond.

Now let's talk goodies before the next set comes out. I am trying to maintain this 2021 energy of staying semi-on top of new things. Let's talk party booths and doll cupcakes.²  

Honestly, I meant to do this earlier this month--and the Wellies Retrospecticus last month before I did this. All these delays from me are for many reasons--including realizing damn near all my Wellie pictures for the past two years are of such poor quality that using catalog pics is just better for the whole damn thing--but the major one is that getting my anti-Covid shots³ whooped my ass. Like whooped it. I still have a cough since the last one at the start of May, WTF. My immune system went into major overdrive, which is good, but meant having hot eyeballs and swollen lymph nodes and a lack of focus to do anything but play New Pokemon Snap which is bad. The swollen knots in my neck, not New Pokemon Snap. That game is my friend. I'm chucking fluff-fruit at everything. But yay, I'm immunized. And still wearing masks in public because even though I'm fortunate enough to be stuck and the CDC claims we can just walk around with our faces out, not everyone is safely immunized, some fools who can be are refusing out of sheer selfishness, and the pandemic is still raging worldwide and other countries can't get all the vaccines they need for their people for who knows how long. Also I invested a lot in cute face-covering wear and I'm continuing to wear it and that way I can cough when my issues act up and know my mouth is covered. We'll decide how I feel about sipping Starbucks in the store later. 

I digress. It's a three day weekend, May is almost over, and I have my attention together long enough to blog about things even if I smell of Halls cough drops. So Wellies later--well, Old Wellie Stuff later, because I'm covering the New Party Stuff today--and New Stuff Now. Including New Stuff that's Old Stuff! But not Bitty stuff. LOL Bitty shit. Go argue with a Safeway doughnut.

Party under the cut!

Taking It Back To the Old School: The 35th Anniversary Historical Re-Release--Including Books! 

Let's start with the thing all the news outlets, Buzzfeed, Pop Sugar, Huffpost, and any other blog media search you can make that comes up on Google News went absolutely ham for. Or bacon. Both are delicious with eggs and toast. In Year Five, AG finally created the character for the time that they in theory had been sparked by and released Felicity, the first new Historical, thus destroying all the weird white bodies. Year Ten AG did a shirt and, deciding this internet thing might be useful later on, set up a website that at the time you couldn't order from. For Year Fifteen they released the first Girl of the Year, Lindsey, though they didn't call her as such. For Year Twenty they put one of the Kirsten models on the catalog and otherwise sat with their thumbs up their butts. Twenty-Five gave us Marie-Grace and Cécile and twelve mini dolls with a stand, and Thirty gave us Melody, Welliewishers, and another set of mini dolls. All of the anniversary years have had something unique about them--except Year Twenty, which we just won't really talk about.

For Thirty-Five CAGE (Current AG Era⁴), American Girl pulled out all the stops. They reached into the Vault, pulled out the old fabric and patterns and book designs, and rereleased the Classic Looks for the six Historical Characters that debuted before Mattel bought the company: Felicity, Josefina, Kirsten--who unlike the others had never ever been BeForevered--Addy, Samantha, and Molly. 

Avengers, Assemble!

They're near to just like we remember them--complete with the neck strings they don't do anymore, Original Gangsta accessories with maybe a few tweaks, Sam and Molly's plastic shoe lumps and Kirsten's shitty shitty cloth boots, and the books in the first edition parchment style they had for the longest before Mattel took full ownership, Pleasant cut out with her millions, and colored spines were introduced.⁵

Each of them costs $150 for the whole potato casserole, and when you factor in the cost of dolls and accessories now and add the extra $10 for Nice Box, that's about fair balance. And if someone dares tell you the dolls were cheaper in the past, remind them that gas used to be under a buck, bread was about half a buck, the president was trash, and the AG doll that cost $75 in 1986 would cost just shy of $183 in 2021 money and you still had to pay extra for the accessories. They're here until year's end or while supplies last, but they'll likely hang out til the early fall. Still if you know you want and you can, get on that. 

Now let's be honest with ourselves, all of us. While anyone can get these dolls for whatever reason--AG isn't going to say "oh noes don't give us money, how rude"--the nostalgia evoked by these classic looks isn't targeted towards the Zoomers, Alphas, and late Zillenials. Some of y'all are just now old enough to drink in the US, go siddown. If you can say which GotY was available the year when you were born and/or you aren't already thirty-something then let's be real, you are not the ones AG is trying to evoke the childhoods of.

This whole Classic Six Set is to spark up the olds. This is the nostalgia of the mid-to late Gen Xers, Older Millennials, and Xllenials/Oregon Trails/Whatever We Are that isn't "Geriatric Millenial" (put that back in the pit you pulled it from or so help me Kore). For those of us who are turning, looking at, or quite a bit past the thirty-five AG is now. Either of that generation that gets blamed for the death of whatever thing we're not buying this month that Boomers care about, stuck between our kids and our parents, or are sorely overlooked just like we were back when we were latchkey kids. Who remember the mailed to you house catalogs with the girls sitting and reading in matching outfits on the covers and the centerfolds of Real Doll Size we drooled and dreamed over and the fairy tale story of a well-loved doll and all her little clothing and accessories tucked away in a water-stained trunk on the back.⁶ Who desired gold pin broaches and spoon bags and round-ear caps and rebozos, who wanted to hold authentic steel pennies until those became hard to source and play with water gourds made from real gourds until the Midwest Floods caused issues with the crop that summer. The my-age adults I write this blog for and connect with in the fandom. The 80s and 90s Kids That Remember. 

This is for those of us who remember the releases of most, any, or all of the the First Six Historicals. And maybe we want our girls there, again, or back. Maybe your Samantha is too fragile to be carted around anymore but you still want to dress her up and take pics, and a double is okay. Maybe your Kirsten got lost in a move or you were forced to give her to a younger cousin when your parents decided you were too old for dolls. Maybe little kid you couldn't afford Addy or Josefina when she came out, even though you pined for a doll that reflected, painful as it was, your place in history. Maybe you never got the Felicity you wanted when you were nine because even though you were very clear that you wanted her your parents got you Molly and you didn't want Molly and you knew they only got you Molly to make you feel better about having to get glasses and you've resented her and her not-a-real-shirt dickey ever since. Maybe you just like berets and wool.

Maybe you just want to treat yourself after an emotionally taxing and mentally challenging year where millions of people died or were disabled and you've been anxious, and just as we're able to get vaxxed and start to fight back with science, people are lying about their status to not wear the masks they refused in the first place because they're selfish, self-centered pigs and you've learned that there's too many people who would rather scream about their so-called freedoms than have to be mildly inconvenienced to protect others. Maybe you want something that makes you happy after a year of so much unhappy and struggle and loss and grief that people expect you to just get past ASAP and return to the fuckshit that benefits them alone. Maybe after the weight of living through a still ongoing mother fucking pandemic, you're old and tired and your knees hurt and maybe a single doll like the one you craved as a kid won't turn the beat around, but it'll make you light up.

Do it. Get the doll.

If you want one of these girls? Don't let your dreams stay dreams. Treat Yo'self. Do It For You. Feed your inner child. You're not too old to have a doll you want. Love yourself and get the doll of your childhood, even--especially--if you're not a child anymore. You're a grownup now and it's your turn to decide what that means. I got one of the 35th Anniversary Girls for myself, and the day she arrived I knew I'd done the right thing in getting her.

No, I didn't get Addy. I had that feeling fifteen years ago this past December. Josefina didn't change enough for me to double up on her, Felicity has her Rose Gown and round ear cap I made and a coral necklace I bought actual coral beads to make, Samantha has never been my goal, and Molly smells like turnips, steel bottle caps, and her brother's old rain boots.

So by process of elimination--

A girl after my own non-amber heart.⁷

I got Kirsten. Yes her stories have issues--book two alone--and her banged hair is inaccurate for the 1850s, but she's my Swedish American Princess and I love her. Addy is and will forever be my First, Head of the Gang, and the Best, but the fact is that St. Pleasant of Rowland was not thinking about little black kids when she launched the company⁸ and Addy wasn't out when I discovered AG in 1986. So it was Kirsten who I fell in love with when I was that multi-braid wearing, ruffle skirted, reading about three grade levels higher, little girl of five and a half sitting on a sun porch in Houston with a borrowed Doll Reader magazine in my lap to keep my attention. I loved the idea of pioneer stores thanks to my elementary school spending an entire early grading period studying Laura Ingalls⁹ that culminated in an entire day of Pioneer Day and reinforced by playing loads of Oregon Trail on my grandma's computer in the summer. Sam was too rich and Molly was too modern, but Kirsten had a sunbonnet and a sunbonnet was sufficiently history for a tiny Neth.

Also is there a sweet story about her getting here. I had planned to get her sometime in May after release was confirmed, but she arrived much sooner than that. My friend Bonnie sent me a gift card as a belated "Forty is a Big Birthday Milestone" gift that was generous enough that it turned "getting Kirsten in a month" into "getting Kirsten in a week." After the overwhelming joy in the gift, I ordered her a day later and snuggled her up the day she arrived. She and my other Kirsten--who has now been called Kirsten Tobia, this one is Kirsten Martine¹⁰--aren't confused about who's who. Kirsten T. actually was the first to meet Kirsten M. and once my other Kirsten is properly restrung, I'll have three of them. I also have three Addys technically and if you don't like the way I live my doll life go argue with your plastic off key ocarina. I also technically have a Sam, so the only one that's never been in my collection is Molly and pbbbbt.

More Books Both Here And Coming, or Random House + AG = Step Into Golden

But it's not all old books and old purses, nope nope nope. There's gonna be new books this summer and fall in a partnership with AG and Random House, which I believe has a penguin living it or something. Please break up our media, we're getting concentrated monopolies all over again.

Happy Birthday, AG, in Golden Book form!
And some others.

So far, five books have been announced. Three of them are part of Random House's Step Into Reading - Step Three line, which is the step aimed at kids who are just old enough to start reading without the training wheels of sitting in their parents laps and having the words either read to or with them. About the second grade level for the average kid, give or take a bit, and each retell three Central Series books with the stories a little toned down in reading difficulty--and, I suspect, the more painful parts:

• Samantha Helps a Friend, the young kid's version of Samantha Learns a Lesson;
• Freedom for Addy, the young kid's version of Meet Addy; and
• Molly’s Christmas Surprise, the young kid's version of Molly's Surprise.
  

They'll also have new illustrations throughout and stickers or posters. Maybe your early elementary kid struggles through a chapter book, but they'll feel accomplished on these and eager for the Bigger Kid Books later on.

The other two scheduled are Little Golden Books and if you don't know what those are congratulations on somehow never seeing a book in your life and yet somehow being on the entire internet, now please Google The Poky Little Puppy and The Monster at the End of This Book. They're square, short, golden-spined, and highly illustrated, and AG's got two on the docket:  

• Happy Birthday! American Girl, a quick look at all those birthday stories for ten Historicals; and
• Happy Holidays! American Girl, focusing on three winter celebrations: Kaya and the Winter Spirit Dance, Rebecca Rubin and Hanukkah, and Ivy Ling (and Julie Albright) and Chinese New Year. I'm especially excited for this one because it's focusing on holidays that aren't Christmas and more of those stories need focus.
  

Ah yes, wisdom such as "I hate turnips." Molly, why are you like this.

Finally and already out, there's Everything I Need to Know I Learned from American Girl, timeless advice for people of all ages who love old illustrations and only focusing on the historicals up to Rebecca's release. Sorry, we only got room for ten in this coffee table book, if we go any further we have to talk about Marie-Grace and Cécile and then we have a problem. Oh and for this, we're using the new Sam illustrations? Okay den. I'll wait to see if I see it at B&N or Target, because I'm not paying full price for an illustration-and-quips book. Go fight your momma.

And that's all the Historical Stuff until more comes out, whenever it does. Onward to the Kids of Today. That always goes faster cause I have less to talk about when it's new!

Party In The USA for the Kids Big and Small: The Moddie 35th Anniversary Goodies

We'll start with the 18" kids since their stuff comes in a bundle--but doesn't have any pics as a bundle online, so we'll still have to go one by one.

Shimmery, like a mermaid's butt.

American Girl Take the Cake Birthday Outfit: Firstly, you have to get decked out for a party, and the outfit du jour is a sequined sheath dress, shiny high tops, a sash to say it's your birthday because you don't do the dollar-pinning thing, a present on your head, a cupcake and a bracelet. Oh and there's also a matching headband for kids, because I think those are all the squirrel tits now with the youthlings. 

Nice shoes, but that's it. The dress has all its decor in its fabric, which is smart--you either make the fabric busy or the dress, not both--but I don't care for it. Someone swipe the shoes for me and we'll call it cake. 

Speaking of cake.

Have a Gay Old Time.

American Girl Take the Cake Birthday Cart: But what's a party without cake? Generally, passable but at least has some dessert, don't just make people eat fruit because you have a hang up. This five colored striped cake with sprinkles and a cake topper (two slices removed avec plaisir) comes on a whole rolling cart with cups, party hats, the AG Balloon of Hitting People, noisemakers, and all the silver and dishware you need to stand, slice and serve.

GAYKE. And that's it. And much like I'm not paying over the top money for Shoes, I'm not doing it for Gayke. Give the Gayke on a cheaper set--no? Fine I'll just have to either learn Sculpy or find another way to have a queer birthday.

The Unicorn Frappuccino is back! In doll form.

American Girl Fun and Games Birthday Party Accessories: Drinks. Camera with photos--again--bracelets, bingo, camera props, and stickers in bags. None of this is my bag¹¹ other than, fittingly enough, the bag. I just really like rainbows and have since they came on a girl called Wisp and then when I finally realized I was queer it all made so much fucking sense. 

Half a party booth is better than none.

Day at the AG Cafe Set: And where will we be holding this celebration of Gayke, Cameras, Sparkles, and Party Hats? Why at the AG Cafe, of course! Unless your store closed in the last five years or was reduced down to "we can order pizza for you for extra money and the cakes can't be both gluten and chocolate free" before closing. I'm not bitter! Ahem.

Along with your corner booth and all the table stuff, folk also get the stuff to set your doll at the table with the doll, for dolly recursion. And said doll is included, a Mini #88 in a smaller modified birthday outfit. Which I get, she has the fancy hair, it's pastel and perfectly Trans Rights For Dolls, but #88 is literally the most meh of the fancy haired dolls for me. There's even a server's apron so you can make one of your dolls work at the cafe for what better be more than tipped minimal wage. Don't make it Addy every time. There's this one idiot who's always doing this and I don't know if she doesn't realize the implications, does but thinks this is fine somehow, or is just stupid. News you can use: if you set up party scenes don't keep making the black doll the happy servant to the white ones. Or butcher AAVE. You stink like unwashed legs in the shower. I digress. The set is nice but a) AG Seattle's setup was different, this is more like the Bigger Stores and b) I really don't do Doll At Cafe often around here. It's lovely, but is it worth it if you're not a constant IG play set up poster? It's got value, but it takes up space.

These can be put into an all in one bundle for absolutely no discount--and, while supplies are fast, you can get a kid's headband with the doll's outfit. The bundle costs $310. 

Get the anniversary dolly.

It's a Wellie party!

Rainbow Birthday Outfit: We aren't leaving Wellies out of the party either! They might be the newest line on the block right now, but that doesn't mean they don't get to party too. We're only not inviting the Bitties. They're babies and don't know how to put food in their faces properly. Emerson is modeling a pink and purple dress with matching choker, hat-band, and the usual plastic wellies shoes but no cupcake. This outfit is much cuter than the 18" set, even sans cupcakes. I tossed this in the box with Kirsten and plan to put it on one of my Wellie girls later on. The headband is whack, but that's what replacing it with silver ribbon hair bows are for. 

Cake and drinks on the house. Or the table. Put them on a table.

Birthday Treat Set: The Wellies also get cake--with three pastel layers, unicorns, pink lemonade, and all the silver and dishware to party down. It's not Gayke, but it also doesn't come with an entire rolling cart and that makes it cooler than the cart in my eyes. Also pink lemonade rocks, I know it's mostly food dye, but it's delicious food dye unless you're my friend allergic to red dye. Then please don't drink the food dye. I love you. 

If you do the cooking by the book, then you'll have a cake--¹²

Birthday Cupcake Kitchen: Ah, there's the Wellies' cupcakes! Along with an entire doll sized kitchen because--with supervision--even an elementary school kid can learn to bake. Two cupcakes--one deth--and decorations and an oven and counter and stand and even a tiny Wellie-sized mitt. The set up even has a clock to tell the time. Analogue so teach that the the little hand points to the hour but you shouldn't need a whole hour to bake two cupcakes. And it doesn't cost a lot! This is much cuter for set ups, and takes up less space. I'm right, go argue with a patty pan in a Beatrix Potter book.

Continue having a gay old time.

Goody Bag Bundles: Much like the last one I covered in--*check*--the Joss end of collection Retrospecticus--we've got four new "order and have at home" goody bag bundles in four themes: General Happy Birfdaze, Cooking Birfdaze, LOL Bitty Shit, and Rainbow. So close, AG! Y'all should have put the Gayke in there! Don't be afraid to put the green in there and lean into Pride. If Blues Clues can do it, so can you.¹³

Considering how many stores have closed and that there's still a panini out there not being sung by Lil Nas X, this is a smart way to give away goodie bags. Also there's only four bags so you don't have to invite the whole third grade class. Don't make people invite people to the party because everyone has to go. Parties are for friends, not to look at the same people you've been shuffled to look at and a frazzled teacher who has deserved a lot better this entire 20-21 school year and deserves a raise and a nap. No links until I code them into the Wiki. I just now remembered these existed. If you read this after I went to code the pages in, the links are here now.

And that's it for the party stuff. I'll cover anything else at the end.

Kira Kira Wallaby: Kira's Collection Add-Ons

Kira got two items as well, to likely finish off her collection.

A scrub is a guy that gets no love from me.

Kira's Wildlife Care Outfit: Don't wear your good clothes in the animal clinic, Kira, there's all kinds of fluids leaking from sick animals. Change into a nice set of scrubs with undershirt and matching sensible shoes, clip your hair back--actually you should probably pull that back--and use your Sir Not Appearing In This Picture stethoscope to figure out what's wrong with the little creatures. This is a cute set, and I might get it just because, you know, medical scrubs are cute. But not yet. Shipping, you're a meanie.

Kira's Wallaby Care Set: Wallabies: legally distinct from but of the same taxonomic family as kangaroos. Kangas are big and get left out of the Pooh collections, while wallabies are smaller and had a TV show in the 90s that later had a follow up Netflix Special that didn't suck. There's also a bag to cart them around in and a bottle for feeding since their mom is missing. Real 90s kids can name them Rocko. Everyone else can name it something like Flufferbutts.

Is the end of Zombie Shakespeare Kira's collection? Perhaps. With this set release there's a bundle for it with Kira's Animal Clinic playset now, which likely indicates the last of her collection. Generally that's how the GotYs end now, with one more outfit and accessory set. A bit earlier than we used to do--this was out in April--but why delay the release? The longer it's out the longer folk can get it and ship it to the land down under.

And Zoidberg: The Rest Of The New Stuff 

And finally, the rest of the bits and bobbles from the last monthish of releases. 

Same Shoes, Different Dye.

Knit Sneakers: They're the Powerful Knit Sneakers but purple now. What do you want from me, a full discussion? Release them in Black, AG. Purple shows dirt.

Lippy.

American Girl Flavored Lip Gloss Set: Six tubes of lip gloss in six flavors: Raspberry, Berry Lemonade, Cherry, Berry without Lemonade, a nice Tropical Punch, and Cupcake. I like lip gloss about as much as I did in the 90s--that is, I have to be in the mood to wear it --but if I do want lip gloss that tastes like things, I have many options that aren't AG and cost less. The Crayola ones are awesome. 

Nailed it.

American Girl Spa Nail Set: Eight nail polishes in eight non-flavored colors--half are some form of glitter--toe separators, and a round file that isn't a trash can. I love nail polish, but I have to be in the mood for it because I paint it on and then let it just naturally chip off over the course of several days. Also I really need to sort through my polishes. I have some that are definitely from the 90s. I know this because they're fucking Hard Candy ones with little plastic rings and are older than Zoomers. You have to earn my damns if you came out after that, go argue with Professor Mirror that there was actually a Pokemon in that picture.

Does it hold wine? Because "my personality is wine mom"
is socially acceptable alcoholism for suburban white women.

Sweet Surprise Reusable Birthday Gift Bag: When you are gifting dolly--or maybe rosé for grown folk--and want to put in bag, here is bag. I got the older non-birthday-non-holiday one when AG Seattle closed for cheap, and it's for storage more than to gift anyone anything. The front pocket can hold snacks! Like cheese to go with the wine. 

*~*~*

Finally, I'm back up up to 2017 levels of blogging! And I'll hopefully surpass that soon, when I yammer about Wellies stuff from the past two years. 

And soon because if rumors are true. I do not want to be caught short handed on that. Don't post nothing on the Wiki before it's announced or I'll toss that six month block at you.

See you next month for Pride, Wellies, and Other Stuff.

Yes I know June is right after the holiday weekend. 2021 keeps on keeping on.

--Neth

¹ We do not talk about whatever that reboot movie tried. It never happened. There is no war in Ba Sing Se. 

² I don't want to give a whole upper section to this, so welcome to the footnotes. Part of the party celebrations was AG partnering with Magnolia Bakery--which is apparently fancy and expensive--to host a virtual cupcake decorating party May 8th on Facebook. And for those with more dollars than they knew what to do with, there was the Decorating Kit and private cupcake class on Zoom with the Head Baking Person. Purchasers got cupcakes--half a dozen biggies and a dozen smallies--foodstuffs stuff to decorate the cupcakes, a plastic doll cupcake, and said zoom meeting--for $115. And there were materials that they needed to supply themselves, like milk. The whole thing screamed of Designed For Influencers With Children and People Who Like To Spend Money on That Sort of Thing. $115 is Doll Prices, and three weeks later I still have doll. Please don't try to keep actual cupcakes for three weeks. They'll evolve into mold packets.

³ Shots shots shots shots shots shots antibodies~

⁴ Huh. That worked out rather nicely, didn't it? 

⁵ Well, most of the original illustrations. For some reason Samantha got her first illustrations instead of her 98 revised, but Molly and Addy have their 89 and 98 revised illustrations, respectively. Look, I don't know why either. Go ask AG. 

⁶ And about as true as a fairy tale, but that's a complaint for a later day. 

⁷ She is currently wearing a homemade version of her Swedish Immigration Dress (sans the too-thick-to-tie headscarf) that I've had for a bit thanks to a friend. It's a little too big and the vest had to be relaced because the cord was too thick, but it's really cute on her.  

⁸ Or later, Ms. "We don't think black people will have the means to order our dolls so we don't send catalogs to their house."

⁹ I don't care for Laura like kid me did, when I didn't know all that I do now about the propaganda and how she grew up to kind of be awful to everyone including her own sisters and how those stories were embellished to promote We Don't Need No Government--as well the blackface in Little Town and the blatant disregard for Native people.

¹⁰ The M and T are for Mattel and Transitional respectively, and after analysis I'm pretty sure the Kirsten I found at Goodwill is a Pleasant Company one so we'll find a good name for her when she's actually restrung. Right now she serves well in Nellie's PJs being carried to bed.  

¹¹ Pun intended.  

¹² *insert remix verses from Snoop Dog's "Step Yo Game Up" Feat. Lil Wayne here*

¹³  Blue's Clues: P is for Pride
Queerphobes/Homophobes/Bigots: Oh they mean pride in accomplishmen--
Blue's Clues: P is for Pride, did we stutter when we said it? The Families are marching ten by ten.