Why I'm an Outsider - Prologue: Not Such a Sweet Baby Face

Otters, really doing that whole outsider thing. (Literally.)

So, if you've been poking around here, you'll note that this blog is called American Girl Outsider. I don't know how you can miss it. This is because I am an outsider to the major American Girl communities. Yes, I run the American Girl Wiki, but I started that after being put out from both American Girl Fans Message Board (AGFMB) and American Girl Playthings (AGP). The only one that I still can consider myself a part of is American Girl Over 18. When I first stepped into the AG fandom back in early 2006--right after I got Addy for Giftmas--it was dominated by an insular community of highly religious, white-dominated, middle aged women, many of which who did not like having their worldview changed or challenged.

I saw, in my high points of the fandom, at least two other communities split from the one that I first found, AGFMB. And I was pushed out by the two biggest boards by about 2008. And gotta say that shit all has changed from the little I hear from the places. Let's get this out right now--I was flat out banned from two separate American Girl message boards within the span of two years, for reasons that were petty, bigoted bullshit. At this point I no longer think that there's a board out there that would accept me as I am other than AG Over 18--which, thanks to LJ fading away, has gone near-dormant. It's annoying that I've been banned, but not embarrassing. I'm more offended by what went down than hurt, as time has gone on, because it screams of privilege and maintaining status over open mindedness and actual inclusion. While many people would say the problem was me and my brashness/personality, I believe that the fact that I am who I am was never the problem. It was an easy excuse and I was an easy target. The problem was and still is prejudice, privilege, bigotry, and Mean Girls/Nice Girls mentalities, just to name a few of the issues. 

There is a problem in a lot of doll collecting communities. And MLP fandom--yes, even before Bronies¹--and BJD collecting and on and on. Doll collecting among women has a running strain of separation--the idea is that you're never too old for dolls, but that doesn't mean that you don't have to grow up, and these people have never grown up. There is a huge middle and high school mentality that has never ended and, until American Girl Fandom--and several others--actually really look at themselves, isn't going to get any better. I'm starting to feel part of the circle again with doll blogging, but it's a touch like a wounded wildcat--I'm going to lash out if hurt, and be wary. 

I will tell as much of my story as I can, from my side. But my AG rejection doesn't start with an American Girl. It starts with a sweet little Baby Face, in the early part of the new millennium.