FAQ and Info or: Read this Shit So I Don't Have Issues.

Mellie and Kanani welcome you to the FAQ. Now read it.

--What's this about?

The inane, semi-useful American Girl babblings of a nerdy demifemme woman who has a lot of dolls, toys, and doll clothes to take pictures of, a lot of crafting and care tips, a smart mouth, a lot of history studies, a bitchy attitude, and a lot of AG opinions.

--Who are you?

Nethilia. Neth for short. I'm in the latter half of the Gen Xs that almost slides into Millennials and, up until it closed, lived close enough to AG Seattle to buy stuff there when it came out. Now I just order AG shit online. 

I'm black, pagan, demifemme--girlish--and queer, and the latter is not a slur. More details remains available on my social media accounts, as much as I'm comfortable stating. I tend to make a lot of nerd, musical, fandom, Simpsons, animation, music, 80s/90s refs, and pop culture humor, since I'm a nerdy birdy and I like several aspects of pop culture and media/fandom as handled personally. I am hood feminism and educated, and in some places I think they call that "woke" now because they're assholes. 

I am Too Loud, Too Reckless, and Too Ghetto.

--How did you get into AG?

Technically, I learned of AG out of the back of a Doll Reader Catalog when I was about five or so, and had a thing for Kirsten because I like pioneering. (Blame the Oregon Trail and Pioneer days at my elementary school.) But the hook happened when I was thirteen, way back in 1993, and Addy Walker was released and I fell HARD for the girl. It took until 2005 to finally get her, though. I have her whole collection, through one means or another, minus one outfit I'm not chuffed about, and a goddamn slide whistle and I got the whistle~!

I was in the fandom for the first time actively on message boards from Jan 2006 to December 2007, but was kicked from the two then-major boards, AG Fans and AG Playthings, in 2006 and 2007/2008 respectively. I show no love to either board and will be flat out honest about their problematic issues, because the AG fandom got a lot of rich white Christian lady issues and I have never been rich, white, or a lady. (I was Christian. I gave it up.)

I am the co-founder of AG Collectors, a message board that is not afraid to address and talk issues in fandom and squeal at the same time. I was also the last a major mod at AG > 18, which unfortunately has gone defunct with the wandering away of fandoms from Livejournal and its going downhill. 

I am the founder and admin of the American Girl Wiki, the Fandom wiki dedicated to everything AG since 2008.

--Why "American Girl Outsider"?

At the time of my starting this blog, I was an outsider from American girl collecting fandom and not part of any large AG community. I had been banned from two boards for bigoted and exclusionary reasons, and the community I had started, AG > 18, had mostly fallen silent with the death of Livejournal. Even now with American Girl Collectors (somewhat) and my other places, I still consider myself an outsider from the dominantly straight, Christian, white, and upper class image of American Girl Collectors of my generation and the "memes, TikTok, and problematic drama" younger side born after the moddies were released. And in some cases after the GotY were. If you have a birth year GotY you're not my peer.

I talk about the many hateful, hurtful, and bigoted things that I dealt with in the American Girl Fandom in the series  "Why I'm An Outsider" and will eventually finish the story; it's a hard look at the shit I dealt with from about early 2006 until 2009-2010 thereabouts. I don't pull punches or play nice. As the quote goes,

"You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better." -- Anne Lamott

--How many dolls do you have?

Hrair. (That's Watership Down Lapine language for "countless".) 

Oh, AG sized? 

More than you think. I keep records and I'll say it's more than fifty and less than a hundred, give or take a dozen.

--What's #AGDoCGoty?

A social media campaign and protest to push for American Girl (AG) to release Dolls of Color (DoC) for Girl of the Year (GotY). More information can be found here: #‎AGDoCGotY‬: Because Representation in AG Lines Matter

--What's your real job?

Sitting on my butt writing books/short stories and hoping people will pay me to read them once I get them up on CreateSpace, along with occasional crafting/pattern designing for money. 

I used to work for Nintendo in the Consumer Service department, but they laid me off in 2012 after department cutbacks so now I self publish my writings and/or sell things on Etsy.

Anything beyond that ain't your damn business.

--What's your faith?

Short version: Pagan.

Long version: Eclectic syncretic pagan, who follows Grey-Eyed Athene and Mama Yemaya primarily but also find personal faith in following Hermes, Bast, Eris, Aphrodite, Persephone, Oshun, Oya, and Isis (this is not a complete list). I integrate Greek, Egyptian, and Yoruban/African Traditional beliefs into my faith. I'm not Wiccan, and magic is not spelled with a K or a J by me. I read tarot cards, I do spells and candle magic, I draw sigils, and my belief in astrology is a huge open part of my faith so yes, I believe in star charts, natal blessings, and the effects of the planets on the soul.

I explore and study faiths like Catholicism, Islam, and Judaism as a personal study, but have decided that Abrahamic faiths are not what I can openly and personally believe in, though I respect anyone who wields faith--or a lack thereof--as long as it's not used as a weapon against me.

--Let me tell you about the love of Jesus and--

Let me stop you right there. I grew up Church of Christ loosely, went hard Christian from ages 12-16 even as I kept wanting to follow paganism, started questioning in high school, and voluntarily left the church in my 20s in college after self searching. 

I know about Jesus and Christianity. I will not be converting back.

--Let me tell you about how your childish belief in a sky-daddy is a sign of mental weakness and stupidity and all religion is nothing but trying to convert-- 

Do you really think that every religion in this world is a variation on Christianity? Even your atheism is Christian. 

Fuck your pompous attitude. Take your misappropriated fedora and jorts back to reddit or wherever.

--What else do you collect/enjoy?

A short and wholly incomplete list: My Little Pony, Pokemon, Monster High (it's back!)/Ever After High, Rainbow High, Disney (especially princesses and Tiana/Princess and the Frog), other dolls, some BJD, video games, books (for reading, not to stack), comics, drawing and art, and crafting supplies off the chart.

--My Little Pony? Are you a brony/pegasister?

Short story: NO. Not even a little bit.

Long story: I refuse to associate with a bunch of icky horrible fratboys in my pony fandom. Bronies showed themselves to be horrible people who engaged in bigotry, want to be special snowflakes while being twisted messes, and then vomit up "love and tolerate" like it solves everything. I've rarely seen a worst fandom in my life--and I've been to a furry convention. Bronies are full of the bad ones. And if you don't call them out on their mess? You're not one of the good ones. Congrats, you watched a show about pastel ponies and ID as male. No backpat cookies. I've been into ponies since the 80s, and I own ponies from all gens but Gen 2 ponies including a few Gen 2 and 5. Bronies are a plight on my fandom that I wish would get the fuck out. Whoever Princess Twilight Sparkle didn't drive off I hope Gen 5 did.  

Now if you're just a pony fan, we're chill. But capital B Bronies can eat horse apples.

--Where did you learn so much history about clothing/fashion/race/society/etc?

Online education via Google/websites, Tumblr, text books, research, being a black queer demiwoman, and exploring history myself. Books are cool and good. There's more to history than what school and the AG books teach you.

If you think teaching the facts of history are CRT, please fuck off forever and never come back. 

I learned about race by being a black person in the US.

--Can you help me write a paper / do a video / freelance an unpaid article / explain in depth about American Girl and/or representation/race/gender/bigotry/etc.?

Ask yourself two questions:

A) Are you my friend, such that I don't mind having these conversations with you or helping you out out of the goodness of my heart? Answer carefully.

B) If I'm not, are you willing to pay me for the time and effort I would put into this for $50 an hour minimally? I round up to the nearest hour.

If the answer to both is no, then my answer is no. I don't teach/do homework/do painful education for strangers for free. Nethie is a call girl: fuck you, pay me.

--Where did you find X?

I buy and bought a lot of my AG collection either direct from AG (the Seattle store from 2011-2021, off the site) secondhand auctions, or, if retired, eBay and the like. Here and there there have been private sales and purchases through friends. 

I have the hookup.

--Can you sell me X from your collection/Can I buy X off of you? 

No and fuck you. It's rude as shit to ask me to buy anything out of my collection unless I expressly say that it's up for sale--and that's almost never, thank the entire fuck out of you. I hunted down bargains, sales, eBay auctions, and what have you to get the collection that I have. You can do the same thing I did. Don't ask for my shit. 

--You curse. That's bad. What if children read your blog?

What are you, twelve? (If you are, get off my blog. COPPA like a mofo). But seriously? Bugger off. Welcome to the internet. People cuss. I cuss like a motherfucker. I'm a grown ass demifemme, and I don't give a damn if you don't like my filthy fucking language.This blog isn't written for a child audience, regardless of me being a doll collector. It's written for adult collectors, and if the language or anything else bothers you as an adult you know how to leave a blog alone. 

I don't have any kids and I'm not raising yours.

--Felicity and Elizabeth/Melody and Edith/Gabriela and Tina/anyone else/you being gay is wrong and disgusting, you're shipping children and dolls! AG shouldn't have trans or queerness in it, it's for children! Your ships make you XYZ and that makes you a problem!

Thanks for the hate. I'm queer. (Bi-leaning lesbian/bisexual enough, demifemme (the gender has been off and on and is intertwined with my race), with a partner I tend to call Bae around here.) I ship Fel/Beth of canon characters (and some others) and my dolls have cutiegirl crushes and some are genderqueer and/or nonbinary. If you don't like it you can flitter off to the other AG boards or blogs or somewhere else where they don't let you curse or your dolls get flirty with each other. 

Trans people are valid at any age. Every person, at every age, has the right to live as who they are no matter where or whom they are on the gender spectrum. This includes trans and nonbinary youth as well as adults. There is nothing wrong with children, from any age, to know that trans people and LGBTQ+ and queer people exist. We and they always have, even if society has historically suppressed this information in bigoted ways. Trans people are a real, truthful, honest part of our world. Children have the right to know not only about trans people, but about themselves. 

 Fuck JK Rowling and anyone who hates trans people.

Dolls aren't real characters that can be hurt by fictional ships. Don't ask me to justify myself or what I ship. Hell, I ship things in other fandoms that would probably upset you. I don't have a Pokémon in the battle of pro-vs anti-ship or whatever the fuck is going on nowadays that makes people act a fool other than to say back in my day what people not call "pro-ship" was "ship and let ship, your kink is not my kink but that's okay, and don't like, hit the X" but I don't believe that playing with fictional ideas and fictional people and in fictional worlds mean that they're my or anyone else's reality. 

Darkfic and dark stories are mental spaces where I can control what will occur--and it's none of your business why I need and want that.

--You're racist against white people/bigoted against straights/mean to men/cruel to cisgendered people/hurting my feelings. We should all get along. MLK/Rosa Parks/(Name Dropped Here) wouldn't want this. You're a Social Justice Warrior. And how can I learn without you teaching me?

There is not enough space for me to lay out all the shit wrong with this. Suffice me to say that you are wrong, and bigotry is prejudice + power, and I am pretty low on that kyriarchy scale. I don't like teaching strangers and I don't teach softly and I might just bite your head off if you test me. And I'm not any kind of warrior. Beyond that being the new way to say "you're a jerk and stop making me think about my privilege," I have a Strength stat of 6 and a Dex of 5-6 depending on the day. I have Charisma of about 16, though, and Int 17. So I'm a Social Justice Bard. Or squishy wizard.  

They're calling this woke now? Fuck I hate that white racists ruin everything. Say less or say nothing.

--You deleted my comment.

Did I now? It was probably inane, offensive, or otherwise not worth the time it took to read. Try again and don't fuck it up, unless I've told you to piss off, in which case do as I asked and piss off. Or you were under thirteen and I don't talk to people not old enough to be on the internet alone. Hell, if you're under twenty-five I might delete it. Damn children.

--You never posted my comment.

See what I just said about deleted comments.

--But My Free Speech...

 Do I look like the Government?! Gods I hope the fuck not. 

This is not a Free Speech Zone. It's a Safe For Me Zone. I don't walk in your living room and throw shoes at your TV, don't walk in mine online and do the same. Don't come in my living room, piss on my floor, and expect me to accept it as a swimming pool. I don't go to your home and slap the stupid shit out of your mouth.

And if you feel like there's people out there that don't care about your opinion, please add my name to that list. 

--Someone's talking about you did you know that?

That echoing sound you hear after telling me this is me not giving a single solitary fuck. I'm tired of living my life for people that spend theirs thinking others are cringe.

--You're talking about me and I don't like you doing that.

That rattling sound you hear after telling me this is me not giving a single solitary fuck. If I don't like you I'll say it. I probably didn't use your name anyways, I just alluded. Sorry you know how you fucked up around me, binch. Hit dogs holler. 

--You're MEAN. I don't want to read your blog.  

Yep I am. You won't be missed. Don't linger. 

--Neth