|This was an all girls' school before you showed up.|
And now for Part Two of the New Stuff: Moddies and Wellies.
Look, I could have done this in a single part, or I could have finished dinner. And dinner was good. See I took the bone of a ham, and some veggies, and made soup. And I'm having that again today. Because it's damn good soup.
Then I had to fix Wiki mistakes. We so roll blocks for misdone pictures. Read the fucking manual.
And now it's time for the bloggings.
No One Needed Boys, But There They Are
|Oh. Boys. Stinky.|
One of the weird things about the boys is that they were modified from the face molds to have closed mouths and slightly "firmer" jawlines. Which is. Uh. Ahem. Time for another rant!
Boy dolls in the prepubescent age rage shouldn't have firm manly jaws. Carpatina was one of the first lines to do boys, and when you look at Adam and Carter they--uh. They don't look right at all. They look like old man heads on young boy bodies. Dissonance! Later dolls by the brand look better, but it still occasionally has the issue and part of the problem is very quick to articulate. The manufacturers don't want the boys to look girly or feminine, and one of the major differences in men and women's face shapes (stylistically/artistically, not always) is the jawline. Ladies are portrayed with soft jawlines, and men are portrayed with a sharper, more emphasized jawline. So designers lean towards giving their boy dolls a severely strong jaw, like a teenage boy might have, so that they look less "girly." Some also make the eyes smaller.
But a ten year old boy doesn't generally have a strong firm jaw. Until puberty really kicks in and takes a hold of them, they still have in part a semi-round, young face with a soft babyfaced jawline and large in ratio eyes, like so:
In trying to make a male doll appear less feminine, companies make their boys look too "old," and it's uncanny valley and off enough to be uncomfortable when paired with what's supposed to be an eight to ten year old girl. It's as uncanny as it is to take a Bitty Baby Head and put it on an 18" body because that head's too "young." AG didn't go as severe as some companies--just look at Carpatina again and fear everything--but they still added some thickness to the jaw, as well as thicker eyebrows which is also a thing little boys don't have. Also the closed mouth only hurts the whole idea that "Kaya has a boyish face" because of her closed mouth, and I might have to kick someone if they keep implying that Native people are boyish.
All of this is to say I just don't like boy dolls. Hell I despise 90% of boy dolls. I rarely had Kens growing up, I ignored all but one of my male Monster High Dolls,2 and I only enjoy boy ponies in limited styles and generally only Gen 1 where they have the fuzzy feets. To me AG boys are just 18 inches of Ken. I'm too gay for this shit and I'm too gay for boys. At least they popped in quietly, instead of being everywhere and hyped and getting the focus. There was no one hovering over the boys on Luciana's day, even. They just slid in with all the other new stuff.
|Today our boys come in Blond White Boy, Generic East Asian...|
#75: Jess mold, but in boy. Eh. Better than Chadly, but not as good as the others. He's mediocre. We'll call him Kenichi. He's not my friend.
|...Ambiguously Brown, and Black Dude.|
#77: Of the four? He's the one that has the most chance of getting in my house. He's got a short 4C fro (that does not feel like a brillo pad fuck you very much you little white racists on IG) and he doesn't look nearly as constipated as all the other boys do. He's growing on me like a fungus. But I have too much going on in my AG life right now to mess with boys. Maybe if I start designing boy clothes.
Truly Me Boy's Outfit: They didn't name this meet set, just like the girl's, so we're just using this name on the wiki. Deal with it. Striped blue polos, the khakis of their people, and terrible plastic shoes, but these have lightning bolts! Meh. The dudes also have grey boxer briefs that I took a look at. If they sold the outfit separately, I'd probably get it. But I don't know that they will.
Now that I'm done looking at boys and have given them a half second, I can move on to the other stuff that came out. Yes, they have clothes, but I can talk about them neutrally because the clothes can be for anyone. Hell, you could get a "boy," put a cute little bow on the head, add a skirt, and have a short haired, closed mouth girl. Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free.
Moddie Mishaps: Clothes and Hats and Cool Lizard Stuff
|Taco Stand Tuesday. Thursday? Tacos.|
Sunny Day Dress: The embroidery on the dress is nicer than I thought silver and coral would be. But it's just the dress, sandals, and shoes. And the headband is a waste and the shoes are average. So a sale buy.
American Girl Snack Stand: Ice cream has been replaced with tacos, as the good Mexican Jesus intended. But there's not nearly enough cheese on those nachos. And why are the beans in a drawer? Are we keeping beans in drawers now? Is that salsa in a ketchup style condiment bottle? How waterly is your salsa? I don't think you understand how Mexican food works, AG. I don't do moddie furniture anyways.
|The Great Outdoors.|
Explore the Outdoors Outfit: For a while this was called the new hiking outfit and I was like "don't go hiking in sandals girl don't do it your gonna have a bad time." Even still, it's not the best time. The top and jacket combo works, but wear pants and hiking boots so bugs don't get a hold of your sweet sweet vinyl. The woods doesn't care if you're cute. They'll just bite your butt and give you poison ivy.
Shark Baseball Cap: Oh hey, a hat that doesn't suck. I like it! It's also blue. Let's put it on everyone--guys, gals, and enby pals. AG Seattle did, which makes me happy.
|Under the sea, under the sea--|
- Sea Glass Tank,
- Mermaid Tee,
- Seashell Lace Tank,
- Sea Breeze Top,
- School of Fish Tee,
- Seashell Sequin Shorts,
- Wave Shorts,
- Ombre Waves Skirt,
- Seashore Stripe Skirt,
- Blue Sea Dress,
- Crisscross Sandals,
- and Lace-Print Shoes.
|There'll be no accusations, just friendly crustaceans, under the sea~!|
Knit Rhinestone Beanie: It's like the silver one but it's pink now. As much yarn as I've been making, I don't need to buy knit beanies. What I need to do is knit them. Especially once I spin up my building block and holiday elemental yarns.
Blue Fish Tote: I don't like purses that can't carry at least a stupidly large wallet and a tablet and possibly kill a man in one swing. So Handbag of Holding.
Dark-Blue Glasses: New glasses! New blue glasses! I love doll glasses so much. Put them on everyone.6
|The boots keep getting gayer!|
Teal Sneakers: Need shoes for dolls that have ugly plastic shoes? Get em some teal sneakers! They work for everyone. Even you. Especially you.
Gold Glitter Boots: brb gonna add to my shiny sparkly doll shoes collection because shiny doll shoes are the definitive best.
|Matching is for chumps!|
Coconut Tee: It's an all new Coconut tee! Now starring Coconut in front of a store window. I remain amused that Coconut the pet is gone, but Coconut keeps showing up in products as to remind us of the dog's loss. Either way, I rarely do Coconut stuffz.
Starry Jeggings: Jeggings are just pants without pockets, making them grossly inferior to jeans. These have the crime of false pocket stitching. Dicks. Gimme real pants.
Chambray Cadet Cap: It's a hat. It's an okay hat. It's not a hat for my group. We wear historical hats or, on occasion, beanies and toques.
|What'd I just say, AG?|
Coconut Coin Purse: Do....do people still carry coin purses? I don't even carry one anymore, and I used to carry coin purses. The hazards of grandparents who grew up in the era of the coin purse.
Coconut Cuff Bracelet: It's a bracelet. It's for kids. I didn't get a shot.
|Necklace. Or something.|
|Dress like your sister!|
And this can just transition into--
Wellies On Stage: Stick Out With Your Chick Out
The Wellies got some new stuffs, including a whole new change of meet accessories. I hope you weren't in love with the old accessory sets. They're gone now. Forever. Except secondary markets. You should have got them when they were on clearance for $5 each.
|Party like a rock star, introverted loner.7|
Strings and Wings Guitar: It's cool, and I'll think about in the future. Wellies have wormed into my heart, no lies.
Butterfly Beats Keyboard: lol it's set up backwards to show the keys. But unlike Melody's piano, it doesn't make actual plays, just plays some theme music when you push it. Well, the age starts at five, so, y'know. Debatable.
|I don't think that girl's ever been to medical school.|
Carrot's Hutch Accessories: Add to the bunny hutch with more stuff! Veggies! a spot to grow veggies! A petting mitt! And a pillow that I think a real bunbun would shred. I don't have the hut so I don't need the extras.
Gopher and Watering Can: I don't like gophers. They're weird little rodents. I wouldn't get this.
Fox and Composting Can: I do like foxes. They're cool dogs that are catting. I'll get this.
Chicken and Coop: Chicken! Coop! Eggs! And apron! Learn where your food comes from. Like everything AG it's small for a real coop but it is intriguing.
|Capture the moment with Kodak.|
|I already sang the song once. Not again.|
|We are having a party! And you're not invited.|
|If you build it, they will doll.|
|Bad angle. Good Bunny.|
Well will you look at that! I got all the new stuff mentioned without taking four months between posts. Starting my 2018 off right.
And for all those that got through all this with me, I have a special reward for you. That's right.
And for all those that got through all this with me, I have a special reward for you. That's right.
Doll boxer briefs. You're welcome.
1 This annoys me slightly, too. That AG didn't launch the boys until after lines like My Life As and Carpatina started doing boys. Don't play follow the leader, American Girl. You created the genre of 18" dolls. Then again you didn't fold as fast to the boy coalition. Conflicted!
2 I don't think they're going to last much longer, Monster High. Ever After High already sort of faded away from corners being snipped. They used to take up a whole half aisle in Target, now they have one tiny section. Such is the way of toys.
3 Guess who's due back. Yep. Molly. She'll be in cube form. That'll just leave Kirsten. Who would be super tempting!
4 Back when I was in school, if staff caught you with headphones, they'd take them away. Because somehow having music to listen to on the bus ride home or walking places meant that you would just whip it out in class and, I dunno, listen to your tapes when you should have been classing. *bangs cane*
5 Months ago, AG did an outfit mix up with Nogan.They put a few clothes on him that came in girls' sets--namely the shirt and jacket. And some white lady showed her ass going "Really? Couldn't get a real boys outfit. This is disgusting. Believe it or not There are family's out here that want boys to be boys and girls to be girls. That's what I thought American girls company represented. Guess not." Lady get a damn grip. Clothes is clothes. Quit panicking that putting a girl's jacket on a boy doll might bring about the apocalypse. I bet you vote Republican.
6 AG should really show more glasses on the boys.They only had it on one.
7 Gentlemen, (listen up) Ladies and transgressors, I appreciate the offers of all your subversive efforts; But to alleviate the scoffers and haters and other jesters, I'mma relegate myself to the more obvious F-words: Fuck this job, fuck my boss, fuck your finance--I give a fuck about these motherfuckers when I dance. (Daveed Diggs, "Night Time")
8 You stop that.